Category: Self Improvement

Posted on

Joy and Money

Recently I took a 2-week timeout from my regular routine to help cater to the needs of a newborn. In case you are wondering, the newborn is my great niece. I’m now proud great aunt to 2 boys and 3 girls.

I am also the go-to person whenever a family member needs assistance and I take these duties seriously. If one of my family members needs me, I drop everything to hop on the next flight. I have to get on a flight because I do not live within driving distance of any of my family members. On this latest occasion my baby soothing, diaper changing, bottle making and lullaby singing skills were needed in Nevis so off I went! By the way if you’ve never visited Nevis, you’re missing out on laid back island living with gorgeous vistas!

What do you Enjoy Doing?

My2-week escape was spent helping with the cutest EVER newborn, sight seeing and enjoying the tranquility of Nevis. I had a lot of time to contemplate life, in fact, life with joy AND money. One day as baby and her parents took a nap, I sat idly scrolling through my social media feed admiring the amazing creativity of a particular manicurist. I realized that it was not the first time that I had contemplated buying the tools to practice some of the techniques that resulted in such perfect manicures. Why is it that I have not done this as yet? the answer to that question lies in how I have prioritized my life, leaving no time and space for some of the things that I enjoy doing.

Create a Life Filled with Joy and Money

There are a few things I have always wanted to do but I never seem to find the time. It occurred to me that I have fallen into that life trap I always vowed I would never fall into. I have been neglecting the things I love and focusing more on work. All of what I truly love to do has been pushed to the back burner for ‘later’. I realized that I had not written a blog post in forever – although I love writing. I had not sketched the multitude of scenes and objects that are begging to be sketched – although I love sketching. I had not learnt how to do nail art – something I seem to have placed permanently on the ‘later’ list.

Do you know that some of the happiest and wealthiest people on earth are those who create income from doing what they genuinely enjoy? That is obvious when you think of famous TV talk show hosts like Oprah Winfrey, and Ellen DeGeneres – it is no secret that they enjoy talking! And they create income doing just that! They created a life filled with joy AND money! what’s stopping everyone from doing the same?

Create Income

Financial wealth can certainly result from a dull but lucrative job but, the satisfaction and gratification of doing something you truly love can add enjoyment to your life. We all obviously need money but do we absolutely need wealth? or is enjoyment of life more important? This depends on the individual, some of us value money over happiness. Which is more important to you?

Interestingly enough, there are conflicting views about whether wealthy people are happy! This article in Forbes Women claims that the happiest people have more time to do what they love but less money. Yet this CNBC article claims that people are happier when they are making more money.  Regardless of how you look at it, joy and money seem to have a direct impact on each other. I personally think it’s a win win when you can create income doing what you love.

How Easy is it to Create Income?

There is no guarantee that your hobby can make you wealthy, but what if it can create additional income? Here is what I found;

  • first, it is important to find out whether what you enjoy doing is marketable. Carefully consider your pricing. Look at what similar products or services cost and consider the time, resources and efforts invested.
  • secondly, determine who your target market is, this will help you to determine how you would advertise. For instance, if you intend to sell to a younger audience, you may want to market your product or service in spaces and social media platforms they frequent e.g., Instagram, Ticktock, Snapchat etc.

One of the more informative articles I found about how to go about all of the above was this one from The Guardian.

Hopefully, even if you decide not to monetize your hobby, you will make time for the things that bring you joy! I know I most definitely will! In fact, I have already started making time for things I love to do – including this blog! I’ve even written the book below! click to purchase on Amazon or just download a free copy with a Kindle unlimited subscription.

Do leave a comment below if you found this article interesting. I appreciate your feedback.

Posted on

Admitting Your Faults is Not a Weakness

It is always easy for us to see other people’s faults but fail to fully acknowledge and take responsibility for our own! Today during a conversation, I shared that I am aware of my own narcissistic tendencies. The truth is, we all are very aware of our unattractive qualities but we convince ourselves that we are only a ‘little’ selfish or critical or unemphatic or indeed narcissistic, while others we know are much worse. That is a bit like saying a person who murdered one family member is not really a murderer but the person who murdered three family members is! The truth is, admitting your faults is not a weakness as we all seem to think!

Are You Conscious of Your Faults?

Have you ever heard yourself say something that made you cringe in embarrassment? something you wish you could take back because it made you ‘sound’ boorish? Maybe you sometimes do things then realize in hindsight that it was offensive. If you’re honest with yourself you would say yes to one or both of these scenarios! and that is the meter by which I measure my own unattractive tendencies. I once read a quote by James A. Owen which resonated with me because it adequately defines what I am striving to achieve. I believe that while I may not always achieve success, developing a consciousness of my own character faults will help me be more forgiving and will enrich the quality of relationships I have with others. Ultimately, having rich, meaningful and satisfying relationships with others will certainly improve my life.

“Admitting your faults isn’t a weakness, it is a strength. Having your faults pointed out isn’t a slur against your character, it’s an opportunity to improve your life”.

James A. Owen

Should You Point Out Someone Else’s Faults?

We all know how offended and even angry we ourselves can become if someone mentions our character flaws! I think it is important for us to first analyze how we ourselves feel when someone habitually says or does something that does not sit well with us. How does it make us feel? Angry? Sad? undervalued? Neglected? This is important simply because how we feel really has nothing to do with that person! How we feel is based on our own insecurities, our ideals and how we prefer to be treated. Which is why if you decided to point out someone else’s faults the framing is extremely important! instead of saying “Karen I think you are always very rude to me”, you can instead say “Karen I feel as though you do not value our friendship when you say ‘X’ thing”.

What if The Shoe is on The Other Foot?

Once you understand that admitting your faults is not a weakness but an opportunity for growth, you become more willing to accept criticism. This means that you are on that arduous path to self improvement. Just recently I said to a friend in conversation ” I know that I can be a bit controlling but I’m working on it” and my friend responded, “I don’t think you’re controlling at all! you are appropriately assertive”. That made me very happy because it meant my hard work was paying off! Don’t be afraid to call yourself out if you notice an unattractive quality in yourself, admit it and strive to improve. Admitting your faults is really not a weakness, it is the first step towards self improvement.

Posted on

Life Begins at Fifty

Turning 50 is among one of the most celebrated events in a persons lifetime. Although some do not generally make a big fuss about birthdays, most tend to mark this milestone with a celebration. Have you heard the saying ‘life begins at 50’? I have always wondered whether that means that at age 50 you can put all your inhibitions aside and finally live out loud! I rather suspect it means something less exhilarating. Maybe it means that at 50 you have learned from all your mistakes and you’re now capable of overcoming any obstacles life can throw at you? To tell you the truth, at the ripe ole age of 53 I still don’t know the answer to that! What I do know is that when I turned 50 I found myself revisiting my life goals.

Previously, my goals were influenced by my own perception of what success looked like. I also had the silly notion that I should aspire to the “success” others sought. Somewhere along the way my perception of success became murky. I wasn’t sure if being successful meant money in the bank for a rainy day, having a prestigious position or having status or recognition of some sort. Today I am relieved to have finally come to the realization that my success is not defined by anyone else’s idea of success. In fact, success for me means being able to do what I like, when I want.

Financial Planning

One of the things that helped change my perception was my mother’s struggle to maintain her independence and find happiness after retirement. My mom had married young, and after a rough divorce she pursued a tertiary education which led to a successful management career. When she retired it became painfully obvious that she hadn’t made any plans beyond retirement. Regaining her independence after a failed marriage was her idea of success. Unfortunately, having focused all of her attention on attaining her goal, she had not allowed herself the luxury of developing an interest in anything else. Without a job or something else to fill the void, she became unhappy and disenchanted with her life. I certainly do not want to make the same mistake,

I want to live a simple but meaningful life for as long as I can. With this goal in mind, I have dedicated myself to planning for my retirement and learning skills that would help me stay involved and relevant. At some point over the last few years, it dawned on me that I knew nothing about financial planning so I applied myself to learning about it. I read every article I could about financial planning including this recent one on Nerdwallet. I also hosted an event with the sole intention of teaching mature women like me how to plan for the future. What I learned is that I had waited too late, I needed to take drastic steps to immediately correct my mistake. In my case it meant that instead of putting aside a small fraction of my income, I needed to put aside a bit more.

Who Said Life Begins at 50?

Everything I’ve learned in the past few years made me realize that we do our young people a disservice when we neglect to teach them important life skills like financial planning. Just recently, while driving to work, I tuned into a radio program in time to hear a Pastor preach about the wisdom of saving 20% of what you earn. Pastor suggested that the ideal time to start saving for your retirement is when you’re ‘middle-aged’. He clarified that according to the Bible, a normal lifespan is 3 score and 10 which is 70 hence, 35 is middle-aged! This means if you’re 50 or older you’re ‘elderly’! and one of the challenges elderly people face is learning new skills (like financial planning). So who came up with the idea that life begins at 50 I wonder?

I wish someone had preached that sermon to me when I was younger! I think more than anything else, we all want to ease into our golden years without worry. The good news is that it is not too late to start putting things in place to achieve that goal. There are a variety of books and online resources on the subject, and financial experts who can offer sound advice and guidance. If you fall into the category of ‘middle-aged’ then start planning for your financial future today and avoid having to make an even bigger sacrifice later. There are a lot of distractions that may make this difficult but stay the course! If you’re 50 or older and you have a solid plan in place then kudos to you! When the time comes you will be easing into your golden years without a care in the world!