Christmas is days away! Some are busy preparing for the holidays and crossing items off their shopping list. Others are gaily skipping off to sunny Caribbean destinations. Some are checking into luxury resorts or already relaxing around cozy fireplaces! While some are desperately trying to ignore holiday music. Why would anyone do that? If you recently lost someone you always looked forward to sharing your happiest moments with, the holidays can be a fresh kind of hell!
Just recently someone told me they were planning to ‘skip Christmas’ this year. Don’t do it! skipping Christmas would be akin to condemning yourself to a slow and painful death. Let me tell you about the year I tried to skip Christmas. Earlier that year, my police detective brother was shot a stones away from the precinct where he worked. Fortunately, he survived 2 shots fired to his head at close range. but we weren’t sure he could ever fully recover. He had lost his sight and suffered a series of complications. After multiple reconstructive surgeries he was still a shadow of his former self.
Are You Planning to Skip Christmas?
Everything seemed to go downhill from that moment on. I returned home after visiting my brother to face a grim reality. I had to close the doors of a once thriving internet café because Wi-Fi had arrived! My faithful customers still stopped by for their morning coffee but I was renting space on hotel property and selling coffee was not allowed. I reluctantly closed in June that year. I figured I would soon find a job, I’d never had difficulty finding work before.
The summer went by quickly and although I did a few part-time gigs I couldn’t find a steady job. Suddenly it was December, my savings were dwindling and the holidays were just around the corner. Everywhere I looked the spirit of Christmas was very present but I focused on ignoring it. Everyone around me seemed to be in great holiday spirits. Each time someone asked how I was doing I said “I’m great!” Only I knew the ugly truth, I was secretly planning to skip Christmas.
Staying up all night to binge watch feel-good movies did not help in the least! Guess what kind of movies were on all day AND all night? The neighbors played holiday music all day long and each day I could smell the delicious smell of a Christmas ham or cake baking in an oven nearby. I missed home and I missed my family terribly but I wasn’t going to let anyone know how miserable I was. I spend my time job hunting and writing applications but I just couldn’t seem to find a job!
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas!
Finally, on Christmas Eve I decided I’d had enough of being miserable, I decided I should get started on my Christmas preparations immediately! I went to the ATM and withdrew more than I’d carefully set aside for groceries that week and went shopping for everything I needed to fix myself a fabulous Christmas feast. Then I bought presents for my 2 friends who had supported me through the year. Later that evening as I prepped my Christmas feast I felt better! my circumstances hadn’t changed a bit but, I had let the spirit of Christmas in and it felt good!
I didn’t know how I was going to pay the rent for the next month but I sternly told myself to stop dwelling on what I didn’t have. Taking stock of my situation, I acknowledged and gave thanks for all that I had. I had life, good health, a roof over my head and food! Although they were far away – I also had family who loved me! So I told myself – Girl, invite someone to share this meal with and have yourself a merry little Christmas! So I called up a friend who was alone and invited her over to spend Christmas with me.
What Are You Most Grateful For?
That Christmas morning I called all my family with my usual cheery greeting “Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!” tears were streaming down my face as I chatted with everyone. I missed them all so much, especially my nieces and nephews. Later I opened the door for my friend Judy who arrived laden with gifts of Christmas cake and wine. We both cried a little when we hugged, she was missing her family too! Our tears dried and our spirits soon lifted with good food, drink, conversation and laughter. We turned the music up loud and danced with abandon to our favorite tunes. That night as I lay in bed, I gave thanks for the wonderful day and for friends like Judy.
I say all this to say that while your situation may look quite dismal, you have a choice. You can wallow in despair or choose to count your blessings! I know you may be missing loved ones or you may be worried about a family member who is ill. You yourself may be severely ill or in constant pain. I know from personal experience that life’s trials can overwhelm even the most positive people but, there is always something to be grateful for. What are you most grateful for? Identify that one thing that you’re grateful for and allow it to illuminate your being. Show someone else a little kindness, give a little love and have yourself a merry little Christmas!
There are Happy Endings
In case you were wondering, I found a great job in January the following year and my brother did recover from his tragic ordeal. He suffered many other setbacks, but he is very resilient. Despite his disability, he continued to work for several years and finally retired in 2020 a highly respected Inspector of Police. He spends his time inspiring others and listening to his favorite detective novels. I hope that one day I can encourage him to write his autobiography. See? There are happy endings after all! Have yourself a merry little Christmas!
