The Goodbye

Two days ago I lost someone I’ve known since I was about 12 years old. He was an amicable, funny guy – sometimes inappropriately so! I seem to remember several instances of my sister saying “Stan shush!” in the middle of one of his stories because she knew exactly where it was going since she’d heard it several times before. He loved to joke around, tell funny stories, sing karaoke, play soccer and he absolutely loved my sister. They were married for the past 30 years and were very much in love with each other up until the day he died.

My sister is devastated, she met Stan when she was twenty-one and she pretty much knew he was THE ONE. He had always been a good looking, popular guy who was the life of every party. From my recollection, he resisted being my sister’s THE ONE for a long time. After one failed marriage, I think he wasn’t in any hurry to commit to a serious relationship. My sister was dogged in her love for him, she knew there was no one else for her and she was very persistent.

Eventually he relinquished his bachelorhood and they were married and had two children. You would think that their story ended there with the ‘happily ever after’ that most stories end with, but no. Life has ups and downs, minor and major tragedies and minor and major triumphs. True love if it is nurtured and encouraged and allowed to express itself, takes you through. The important thing to remember is that we have a limited time here on earth. When the time comes for us to go, or for us to let loved ones go it should be with grace; the grace that comes with knowing that we have not loved halfheartedly, that we have truly lived and truly loved.

So today, love with your whole heart, hold nothing back and be dogged in your pursuit of happiness. In the end nothing else matters – not pride, not ego, not what other people think, and definitely not what feels comfortable. In the end all that matters is that you loved and were loved in return.