It’s a fact of life that the universe habitually throws you pairs of everything. My granny bless her heart, always warned me about that. Gran passed on a long time ago but her words still ring true, trouble comes in deuces. Some things like misfortune or bad luck as we say, seem to come in twos and this was certainly true for Nicole. One misfortune was promptly followed by the next and those two events started an avalanche of other events that created an entirely new reality for her.
In the weeks following the funeral, Nicole wondered when she was going to wake up from what seemed like a horribly long nightmare. She wished she would wake to the sound of her dad’s deep baritone or his familiar bark of laughter that always made her smile. Instead, she developed a morning ritual; she got out of bed each morning and immediately headed to the kitchen to start the coffee.
While the coffee was perking she would brush her teeth and wash away another sleepless night from her swollen eyes. When the coffee was ready she would pour two cups, then steeling herself she would briskly walk into her parent’s room. Placing a cup on her mother’s bedside table she would pull the curtains and open the windows allowing the bright sunlight to spill across the room. She always enjoyed the light breeze that would waft in through the tall windows, bringing with it the fresh smells of early morning. Yet her mother would remain motionless in the bed. Each day Nicole tried to coax her out but it was as if she had lost all interest in everything outside of her bedroom.
Marie had long returned to her busy life and Nicole felt overwhelmed by the daunting task of caring for her mother. Bills were already piling up on her father’s desk and Nicole hated to bring up the subject of their payment, but she decided to do just that today. “Good morning Mom, are you going to get up? You need to write some cheques so I can pay the utilities and whatever else needs paying” she said briskly”. Her mom didn’t stir, Nicole could tell that she was awake but her eyes remained firmly closed.
“Mom?” Nicole walked over to the side of the bed and shook her by the shoulder. “Mom! I’m speaking to you!”. Suddenly her mother opened her eyes and smiled “you look so much like your daddy” she said gently. “Mom, can you please listen to me? we have bills to pay, you need to write some cheques” Nicole said imploringly. “Don’t worry about it baby, can you close the door when you go out please? I’m not up to talking, just let me sleep for a little longer” her mother said as rolled over unto her side and pulled the covers up.
Nicole went out and closed the door quietly behind her, tears welled up in her eyes as she rinsed her coffee cup in the kitchen sink. She didn’t know what to do, her mother had not left her room since the day after the funeral and she was beginning to worry that she probably never would! Wiping away the tears from her eyes, she sat down at her dad’s desk and began to go through the pile of unopened mail.
It appeared that none of the mail from the past month had been opened and it was already what date? she reached for her dad’s desk calendar and turned the page over, yep it was already two months. Two months! she hurriedly flipped the page back, as her stomach sank and she broke out in cold sweat, she couldn’t believe it! She reached for her phone and quickly scanned the dates of the last text messages from Paul.
Dropping the phone from cold, clammy hands she quickly stumbled outside unto the balcony and desperately drew fresh air into her uncooperative lungs. She was pregnant! It all began to make perfect sense; the occasional nausea, the unfamiliar heaviness of her breasts and her sudden aversion to eggs. She had been completely oblivious to the telltale signs of her pregnancy.
How could she be so stupid? the thought had never even entered her head! the all too familiar overwhelming despair washed over her and she sank to the floor and wept brokenly. How could this happen to her? Her dad would have been so disappointed! What was she going to do?
To be continued..
