Exhale Prt 3

The Barbados Hilton

Henri knelt on the carpet and unbuckled the slim ankle straps before removing my platforms and placing them neatly beside the bed. He then unbuttoned my jeans and slowly pulled the zipper down. I lay still watching him as he began to tug  my jeans down, I was very conscious that my thongs were following my jeans as I lifted my hips so he can slide them off.

I was completely naked while he stood fully dressed allowing his eyes the freedom to roam my body. I felt a wave of heat washed over me immediately followed by the ridiculous urge to shiver. I felt almost unbearably vulnerable but also like some wanton seductress lying there with my thighs apart! Henri knelt between my splayed legs and slowly lowered his head until I could feel his warm breath on my thighs.

My legs felt like they had a mind of their own and they slowly crept further apart so that he can bury his face between them. The flick of his wet tongue was warm and deliberate, he obviously knew what he was doing because I couldn’t keep still. The way his tongue was stroking my moist center was about to make me lose my mind!   Just as I thought I was going to exploded in his mouth he stopped abruptly and began to unbutton his shirt.

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Exhale Prt 2

The next morning I was very distracted at work. I jumped each time the phone rang and I kept going over the previous night in my head – each time it seemed even more unreal! it wasn’t until mid morning that the phone rang and I heard the now familiar accented voice said “Hello mi cheri, how are you today?” “I’m fine, how are you?” I responded with a slight tremor in my voice. “I’m fine as well” he answered “I apologize for calling you so late but I had an early meeting, can you give me your details now for the ticket?”

I gave him my name and other details. He told me he would call his travel agent immediately to get my ticket sorted. After a moment of hesitation he asked if I would meet him at the hotel that evening. I agreed that I would and I we hung up. The rest of the day went by in a blur and I deliberately engrossed myself in my work. I busied myself editing a proposal my boss was working on and responding to emails. By 3:30pm I was eager to get out of the office, it was Friday and I had plans!

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Exhale! Prt 1

watching the sunset over the water from a beach chair

Truth be told I’m now learning how to exhale; I know it sounds clichéd but honestly when you’re of a certain age that’s when you finally get what it means. As a black Caribbean woman I was brought up to be respectful of my elders. To be mindful of societal ‘laws’ and to try as much to conform to what is ‘expected’ of me. The older I get the more I resent this expectation that I would do what ‘they’ decide is the right and correct thing to do. What about my own views? what about my own personal ambitions and expectations, what about my own yearnings and emotions?

Yes! now I know what it means to exhale and to stop caring about how I measure up. Whether or not I’m doing what a respectable woman with my peculiar background should do and whether I’m being a ‘good girl’. Today I say, to fuck with all that shit! it’s time to live out loud and enjoy everything that life has to offer! I say yes to living in the moment, I say yes to expecting only a bright future. I say yes to staying up all night with my love to drink wine and make love until the sunrise spills its light across our entwined bodies.

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